Pause. Think. Go.

Flash back

It was several years ago that I met him on a Bombay Walk - the ones where they take you around to see and learn about the colonial aspects of S.Bombay. He was a journalist working for a well-known newspaper and I liked his articles on the art and culture of the city. I was happy to see him and for an opportunity to talk to him about his work. So I walked up alongside, introduced myself and told him how much I admired his articles.

'Which article?' he asked.

I mumbled something like. 'Er...I do not remember which one exactly....but...but....

To which he snapped back, 'You haven't read my articles.'

Though I  had genuinely meant my appreciation of his work, as often happens when asked specifically what, you tend to fumble for words. You are hard put to explain what it is you have liked. For, it is just a feeling you have about the person or the work they do.

The person you have expressed your admiration for, thinks your inability to express the feeling is a sign of your insincerity.

Flash forward 

Even after all the decades that have passed since the incident, I still remember the experience with an acute sense of embarrassment. It was Carl Buehner who said, 'They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.' And his words describe the experience perfectly! 

I think the words of Buehner are particularly relevant in today's lockdown times, when cooped up at home, we tend to spend inordinately long periods of times on social media. Given the large number of posts and messages we have to go through, and the conversations we have on them, it is wise to remember to be careful with our responses. Given the urge to respond quickly to messages, we tend to overlook the feelings our words are likely convey to the receiver. Especially so with the abbreviated words we tend to use to save time and even with the emojis which we choose to respond with.

So before you  respond to messages on the social media, remember to;

•  Pause
• Think - spend a few moments rereading what you have written. 
• Does the language you have employed, convey exactly what you have in your mind? 
• How is it likely to make the receiver feel? Remember, your words may very well have an impact on the nature of your relationship with him or her.
  
• Go - press the Send button.
  

 

 

 

Acts of Kindness

#LivingStories
“If you are unemployed and need an outfit cleaned for an interview, we will clean it for free”, says a sign outside the establishment of In The Bag cleaners. Below this is a personally signed note from Team Leader Dave Coyle, which says,  “When times are tough, we will help you look your best.”

#MyLearning
Reading the sign aroused a mixture of emotions in me - a slight constriction of the throat followed by a sunny feeling which Wodehouse would have described as, “The bird’s on the wing, the snail's on the thorn,  God’s in his heaven, all's right with the world“. If those my emotions, one can only imagine the feelings of the receiver of the act and the giver.

Each of us, whether In business or employed, have the capacity to do an act of kindness to those who are less privileged than us. It does not cost much, but can be immensely gratifying and emotionally rewarding to both the giver and the receiver of the act.

Clearing Our Demons

“All my demons, all my monsters that I’d been carrying around forever… The light came through and I realized, 'Oh! They’re not demons, they’re not monsters, they’re not dragons. I’ve been making them more grandiose than they are. They’re just the orphaned parts of me. And they are throwing temper tantrums because of their fear. And now I have to tell them it’s going to be okay. And they will all go to sleep. I am the mother of all of these parts of me.'”.  Author Elizabeth Gilbert in an interview.

#MyLearning
We create monsters of our fears. We also have the power to put them to sleep.

Ideal Decision-Making

Ryoma, a 19th century samurai, played a key role in the movement to overthrow the Tokugawa shogunate & end Japan's 300-year isolation. He established the nation's first trading company & helped Japan become a naval power.
A portrait of Ryoma, hangs in the office of SoftBank chief Masayoshi Son. Every morning when he comes to office, it reminds him to make a decision worthy of Ryoma.

#MyLearning
Ideals are born, not of logical analysis, but of feelings which have no language of words to measure them. Holding ourselves to the ideals of our heroes invests the ideals with a measure for our actions.